A month into the Pre-Clergy Program and last week, I finally got the motivation to start reading, studying, and doing the writings!  I was hoping to get started right away, but then I got hit with ADHD and a little bit of Imposter Syndrome.  That Imposter is just shadow work to explore.  I explored it.  My Imposter asked what did I have to offer to ADF or to anyone else?  I was a poor speaker and a college drop out, who the hell could I help as a clergy person? Good questions, honestly.   What are my strengths?  What are my weaknesses?  What could be improved? I love writing rituals and I love performing them for my community.  I love teaching folks about the Kindreds as I know and interact with Them, and passing on Their messages.  I also know that my ritual writing needs a lot of work.  I attend others rituals and pay attention and learn.  I've taken writing workshops, ritual writing workshops, and I've read books....

I saw this meme this morning and it got me thinking... I do this with my Shadows, too. I see them both as Wounded People and wounded parts of me that need to see that failure is okay and so is trying. I've had to work for all of my skills and knowledge--nothing came easy. If I let my Shadows bully me out of trying, I don't even know that I'd be here today. For me, it helps to see these Shadows as separate people, while knowing that they are me, too--they're not my enemy, just parts of me in need of healing and friendship. Hm, what to name my Imposter Syndrome, other than Imposter? I usually just see all of those people--mostly family--who said that I was too stupid, weird, crazy, fat, or just couldn't do things because of my neurodivergence's or traumas.  I also see the art teachers and peers at Wright State University who said that my work was mediocre and that I had no business being in the art fields.  I did have a couple of great art teachers, though.  One ...