Who is the Fox of Hearth Fox Oracle?
You know, I wasn't even into foxes before 2017. They were pretty, and I had seen a living one in a field once from the car when I was little, but they just weren't on my radar.
Then I got pregnant with my final kid. Final--hopefully a girl--kid. A fox spirit started showing up and I was immediately hooked--in love with foxes! I crocheted a giant stuffed fox for my kids, inspired by the fox from The Little Prince.
I hyper foxcus (I looked away while typing "focus" and that's the word that my fingers went with, lol). Yeah, I hyper focused on foxes. I learned about real foxes, and all of the different colors they can be. How some like to climb, and all of the crazy sounds they make, and how smelly they are, their diet and habitats. I crocheted a baby blanket in orange and white and realized that my favorite colors had changed, from dark purples and reds to oranges, blues, and grays (although not fox related [but Inner Child related, which is related to the fox phenomenon], pink). I started collecting children's books with foxes, too, in addition to the sea turtle and whale books for the other two.
I thought fox was just my son's animal guide. With my other kids, I saw their guides all the way up until they were born.
Then a beautiful orange Red Fox started coming to me during dreams, meditations, and trances. Following me and leading me. For a while, Fox was more prominent than any of my other guides.
Come April 2018, I went into labor at 34 weeks. The baby was in distress and my cervix wasn't opening up as fast as the doctors said it should. No epidural because they're expensive and I was suffering for hours. I was put in different positions and they monitored my baby, and talked a lot. I was comforted by a purple kitsune vixen spirit, whom I hadn't seen until the hospital.
Something was wrong with the baby--his heart was weakening--and my body was telling me to push. I couldn't ignore my instincts any longer. Finally the doctors listened to me. As I pushed him out, the vixen left with him. He had the cord wrapped around his neck. He spent a month in the NICU; he needed CPR a couple of times, too. Everyday we visited him, I drew foxes (and kangaroos). Eventually, we all came home. Today he's super strong and healthy and obsessed with foxes and dinosaurs.
Red Fox stayed as my guide.
I went on journeys with Fox and Persephone.
Eventually Fox and my Torch Bearer journey inspired the name of a business of mine called Fox Torch Photography (closed by Covid). Then again, inspiration struck for my psychic and handmade products business: Hearth Fox Oracle. (HFO's name was also inspired by my magikal names and titles.)
A couple of my fox themed pouches:
Some of my crocheted Hearth Spirit Fox Plushies over the years. I was crocheting lots of Spiders and Snakes, and planning to make bees and black birds. I realized that I should probably make some foxes since its in my business name (I knew they'd hold up being played with, because I practiced making toys for my rambunctious kids first!):
I think in 2019-20, Loki revealed Himself to be Fox, but not always Fox. Loki Fox talks. Fox Guide doesn't. In my experience animal spirits don't use human language, they communicate in images, gestures, and body language. When an animal spirit uses human language, then I know I'm dealing with another entity--such as Deities (your experience may be different). But I can also tell their energies apart, plus Loki Fox can't help but shapeshift into other forms around me--that's another giveaway.
Other than making plushies, masks, pouches, rubbercuts, and dedicating jewelry, I also like to dedicate other arts to Fox, too. Like October, this month I've been doing another Daily Drawing Prompt...only involving a fox somehow. And like October, they're quick sketches with exaggerated angles, and all from my brain. No outside help. I can draw what I see with no problem--I can actually pretty well if I need to. I just prefer the quick sketch exaggerations. I'll show off those...some good, most eh...sketches at the end of the month. I think I may focus on Reindeer for December's Daily Drawing Prompts...more on Reindeer soon!
Fox--Spirit and God--has been teaching me positive aspects of Tricksters, Shapeshifters, and even Chaos. As well as how to be patient, observant, and stealth. A better grasp of when to fight/hunt and when to disappear back into the shadows--stronger self-preservation! Despite the bright orange of red foxes (I also stand out as a bald, plus size, 6'2 woman), how to cast illusions to disappear and not attract unwanted attention. Learning how to embrace my Inner Trickster...and often how this part of me can also heal my Inner Children, through hide and play.
Above I mentioned how pink and fox are related to my Inner Child. When I was little, I LOVED pink. But due to SA and child abuse, I traded for darker colors. I threw away all of my girly clothes and bright colors for boy clothes. I didn't want to attract the attention of men--I even chose sports bras over regular ones, because those are tighter and flatten the chest. I was a tomboy out of survival.
Years later, after a lot of therapy, shadow work, and healing, I felt safer. I started dressing up just because I could, not because I had places to be. I wear skirts and dresses almost everyday. I even started wearing push up bras and shirts for cleavage--I walked the line between modest dress and sexier, curvier dress--for me, not the gods, not men, not society--FOR ME. I allowed myself to wear and love the color pink again, including other bright colors like orange. I'm not super feminine, but I also learned that it's okay to be feminine. I'm not afraid to stand out, YET I also know how to camo and hide if I need to. Sometimes the Tomboy is still used for survival purposes, like last month I went to a bar to support my husband's rock band. I hate loud places, so I knew that I'd probably be outside at some point, so I dressed warm and like a man--I was outside in the cold dark night in a strange town for an hour, so. Some foxes change their coats for different colors, too (artic fox--white in the colder months, brown for the warmer ones).
I used to think that I sucked at masking, which sometimes, yes. I thought that was a good thing, because burn out sucks and I don't like to be inauthentic. I try to be myself, to be honest and true. However, after a local group kicked me out for being too different and too much, Fox, Loki, and I went on a journey, and I started realizing that I'm autistic--a lot of things in my life made sense after this, especially when making friends and red flags comes into play. I've been learning more about autism and how to better protect myself around strangers, and being more aware of "too much". Learning to live with Au-DHD and my other neurodivergences...and not being ashamed and self-loathing. Acceptance and adaptation.
Fox and Loki taught me that sometimes masking is necessary for protection--its not always a bad thing. Sometimes one has to be the Trickster, like I was as a teenager and whenever I have to be the Tomboy. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not doing it for nefarious reasons. I'm doing it for personal safety--protection. Once I get comfortable with a person/group/situation, then I become more of myself--those layers start coming off. Sometimes camouflage is necessary. I've been psychic all of my life and a witch and a pagan most of my life and there have been times when I've had to hide those parts of myself in the shadows, too--being a witch in the shadows is immensely helpful. I'm not being inauthentic.
The stealthy fox hiding in plain sight, observing, learning, deciding.
Survival.
Turns out that I've been a fox for a long time. Fox and Loki have been teaching me to embrace my Inner Trickster--and that Tricksters aren't always the bad guys. As a Fox Witch, I have done some of my best magikal and spirit work for people and my family.
That's who the Fox is. A Witch, a Loki and a Spirit Guide. A guide who's still very prominent in my life. So much that my spiritual name has fox in it. Since my birth name has a lot of trauma attached to it, I've often thought about legally changing my name to Fox, as well.
