I'm reading Morgan Daimler's post: Being in Service to the Other and having some thoughts about my own clergy path. So far I've only read Part 1, but in it she talks about the difference between Serving the Community and Serving the Other.
In January 2022, I was ordained by my Gods to serve Them and the Other. From there I launched my search for ethical, legit pagan clergy courses and programs, because I wanted to learn how to be an efficient, legal, and ethical pagan clergy member for my communities. For the most part, I had the sacerdotal stuff done, but I needed more education and training for my human communities.
My Gods said that wasn't necessary to serve the Other. I already had the knowledge, skill, and training to serve Them. They didn't care about the pastoral work. I was Their Priestess, Their Oracle, Their Seidkona.
Yes, but to deliver Their message more effectively, I felt that I needed to learn how to work with people better. And to do so legally.
I just wanted to do more for my communities. Seeing that I wasn't going to take no for an answer, Freyja and Baba Yaga helped me by encouraging me to join ADF in July 2023. I spent 2 years working on the Dedicant Path program and passed it. Then I took a break. In January of this year, I was accepted into the Pre-clergy program. I gathered materials and prepared my note folders and would-be essay documents.
Then I did question 1 for the first course and haven't touch the work since.
Au-DHD as ever, I started focusing on the artwork for my oracle deck and book.
Then Au-DHD had me focus on camping stuff and utiseti preparations.
You know, I wonder what kind of force in the world I could be if I didn't have Au-DHD?
(Over the last few years I've done a lot of research on ADHD and Autism. And by Being Present, I've learned how to not fight Au-DHD. To just flow with it. So far, its been working pretty well. Still, I'd love to be able to focus on one thing and follow it through til the end!)
Course while doing all of this, I'd often explore what it meant to be clergy for ADF and for my own personal work for the Other. Right now my Gods want me to focus on Seidr, rune magik, camping, and my artwork. The ADF part, too. Early in 2024 or 5, Freyja said that my path had changed and that I wasn't going to become and ADF Priestess anymore. She also said that I wasn't going to finish the DP--Divine Psychology. I sit and wonder if the Clergy part was also Divine mindgames?
Either way its a choice. I chose to finish the DP. Do I make the same decision here? Is it my choice to make? Is free will even a thing here, or it is an illusion? *shrugs*
Serving the Other, I already have the mentors, guides, training, and skills for. Certainly not an expert, although I'm no beginner either. I'm really good at it--always room for improvement, too. I'm comfortable with the Other--moreso than here. I'm more comfortable with the incorporeal denizens of that realm, than this place. I've never felt like I belonged with humans--and time and time again, many of them other me and make me remember that difference. I'm not like them, and honestly by how some of them act, I'm glad I ain't like em.
I'm Conduit, an Oracle, a Seidkona, a Liminal Walker. As I heal, I get more comfortable, more accepting that I am different. I'm getting more comfortable with being Other.
I still want to be an ADF Clergy member (and to belong to the community as a attendee, teacher, student, conduit), but I just hope they have a place for someone like me. As Daimler said within Christianity, there's many different roles of clergy--"The only comparison I can think of here is the difference between parish priests and monks or nuns; both serve their God but one is community faced and the other is deity focused."
I'm a bridge between this world and the Other. With my oracle work, my goal was to help to empower people. Honestly, most people come to psychics with the same ole same ole problems. They hear the advice, but they don't listen. They don't apply or learn, they just return with the same ole same ole. What's the point of paying for a reading when you're not even going to bother to listen? To make changes to your lives? (I do have return clients who absolutely listen and have taken the advice to heart. I appreciate yall-- for listening and making good, difficult changes to better your lives. I'm glad that I could be a guide.)
It's maddening, honestly. Honestly it might be one of the reasons why I'm burned out from doing the psychic events. People pay for advice, but don't take it. The Gods and Ancestors warn them and they don't care--they just do whatever, then what the Gods said would happen, happens, and cry about how unfair life is. This is also why I stopped doing readings for certain people in my life. They get the advice and don't listen, and fuck up their lives.
I don't get it. I mean, I do, it's just annoying.
The work I do enjoy is the oracle work for my grove.
I enjoy being a bridge. I enjoy going to homes and lands, and giving a voice to the disgruntled. I enjoy trying to educate people about the spirits/spirits about the people in their lives and how to live a more harmonious life with our room mates and neighbors. I enjoy the Spirit Work I do to as a mediator, as a warrior, and as a healer. I enjoy helping the dying cross over. I enjoy helping the recently decease who're scared and angry. I enjoy working with spirits to help humans, too.
There's no certificates, no degrees, no awards, nothing to show to others. At least nothing physical. It's deeper than that. People/Spirits feeling empowered, smarter, and safe in their homes. The energy change of a home or land. So much more.
I just don't know if ADF has a place within their priesthood for someone like me. Now there are other clergy within who're like me. Like, I'm not interested in doing unions or baby blessings, my skills are more Guardian, than celebrations. I love writing and leading rituals, but I want more. I want to work with the dying and the dead. I want to work with our Seen and Unseen Neighbors, and teach humans how to pay attention and listen. Send me out to into the field to mediate between mortal and immortal. That's the kind of work I do now and want to offer to ADF.
I thought I wanted to serve the human community--tbh I'm not that great with humans. Weird spiritual shit happens and suddenly I'm either a freak or fraud, and I'm ostracized from human communities. Until they need help anyway (just like X-Men and other superheroes--again not saying that I'm super, I'm just one of many helpers who're used and abused), in which case, there's going to be some kind of energy exchange--a trade, money, food, etc. The older I get, the more I understand those old feral blunt hags who live alone in the woods.
I'm just reading Daimler's post and reflecting, while question 2 of the first course is blank. The cursor blinking, waiting for data. It's just gonna have to wait, at least until Au-DHD gets back to it. Until then I'm taking my time, doing the things that Freyja and the Nature Spirits have told me to do. No rush.
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Thank yall for your support!
Face to the Sun.
Trust in Joy.
Follow the Whispers...
- Priestess Foxlyn