Put On Your Favorite Dress and Go Dance and Play in the Rain

 Yesterday I took on the simple task of reshuffling two of my photo albums containing fragile old photos...which took me waaaaay longer than I originally thought.  It took hours and I'm still not finished, because i came across photos that were not in chron order.  I still have more to add, and I know that I'm not done.  I am close, though.  

Anyway, when ritual time came around, the Grove was wondering what we should do the night's ritual on.  I was handling photos from high school and getting nostalgic and all that.  I suggested our Inner Children, that's what we went with.

We brainstormed deities and spirits for our round robin script and got to it.  As usual, I volunteered for the omen.  Using the Rebel Unicorn deck, Loki came forward.  As the ritual progressed, so did Peacock and Thor in the guise of Marvel Thor.  He picked this form because we were honoring our Inner Children.

Here's the omen that I did, my cat Jimmy Ventress also involved herself--I forgot to give my offerings to this little chaotic Outdweller and close her out of the room.  The brackets [ ] will be present me explaining some things.

The omen, recorded by Willow:

"Peacock: do not stand alone, but stand out. Shimmer in the sunlight (most of deck fell), a drum, loud drums that stand out and don't just blend in, be the loud annoying snare drum. Stand out, show your inner child it's safe and beat the hell out of the drum, let them beat the hell out of the drum. Shimmering feathers, no fucks given.

Thor: play in the rain! Maybe not in lightning, but when you can [it was storming outside during ritual]. Play more.  Like your shadow, you need your inner child to trust you. For the shadow, you face your fears, but for the child you do what you couldn't do as a child, play, as long as you're not creepy about it. Maybe as a child you loved pink and some terrible stuff happened and you hated it but now you're starting to love it, love those colors, even if it makes your high school self cringe. You can work with [high school self] later. 

[In my case, I loved pink and girly stuff when I was little.  But when trauma happened, I associated that color and girly stuff with the trauma.  Later as an adult, after years of therapy and shadow work, part of me realized that pretty stuff wasn't the enemy or weakness.  It wouldn't expose me as a target.  It was safe to embrace and love, and so I gave myself permission to wear dresses and skirts, and lace and pink.  This was very freeing and it healed my Inner Children.]

Left eye went blank, Odin is here. Energy in left eye." 

[Sometimes when Odinn is present, I temporary lose sight in one of my eyes, or there's a weird energy over the eye.  Usually this temporary blindness happens with the right one, but for some reason last night, He chose the left eye.  Prob some kind of meaning there.]

This was said by Fen in chat: Spirits of levity are here for sure.

Willow or Fen asked when Jimmy V involved herself:  Is loki using the cards or the cat to send us messages lol?

I and Willow continued:

"Odin: Glee. Weird energy in eye. Just presence. Ventress is sitting on the mouse and pendulum. 

Card Drawn: You Do You card. Don't change yourself for other people, to fit in, be like a peacock, not like a drab hen. Be yourself and shine on, that is how you get your inner child to trust you, to see that it is safe. If little you sees big you being authentic, playing, liking whatever colors you like, play and be a kid and playful and loving.

Loki: (Ventress grabbed the pendulum, wants to take it, is pawing at the deck). Cats are the best kind of chaos, with claws, teeth, and a bad attitude. 

Card Drawn:  Believe what you see card. Reality is subjective, each person may have an idea of who we are, our own energy versus someone else's energy, but we're not as put together as we might think we are. Get to know yourself or live in illusion/delusion. It's ok to be a hypocrite at certain parts of your life, everyone is. If you think you're not, you're probably deluding yourself.

Loki standing at a pond, lifted a mask of his face up off his face, leaning down to the water putting the mask into the water, pushes it and lets it float out and sink. Turns to the side, rifling layers of masks/selves along jaw line. Some people have done more work or have more layers before you can get to your inner child. Work outwardly and inwardly, toys and colors when you were little. There are a bunch of ourselves inside, masks and layers.  Like Shrek's onion.  Masks can be deceptive and protective. Just as we are wearing masks, so are inner children, mostly for hiding, though some for scaring away the scarier and unknown. As you go through masks and layers inside, you'll eventually find one to connect with the inner children, to take off those masks and see who each other truly is. If you'd rather not see the mask metaphor, consider lotus petals, your favorite flower. Peel back those petals to truly find yourselves. Think of your inner child as petals you collect and add to yourself.  The rose petals from Beauty and the Beast.  Only instead of a dying flower, one that you're rebuilding as you heal.

As you go through and find inner children, you're rebuilding your flower. Flowers might be prettier than masks. To shed like snake skin, flower blossoming revealing layers, or rebuilding your flower. Flower turned into a fox tail and left."

In my Inner Children work, I do see my little past selves as flower petals.  Once we've reached a level of trust and love, I open my palm and a beautiful fantastic lotus opens up.  Little Me's eyes are bright and wide with wonder.  She becomes a petal and joins the Lotus--joins me.  Healed.  

I think Loki used the mask metaphor first because we're adults, although we tend to associated masks with deception and lies.  Imaginative, impossibly beautiful flowers are often seen more related to kids.  Soft.  Gentle.  Innocent.  

Plus on our journey of healing, going back to the Reality card, we're going to need to really learn about ourselves, see our masks, and start peeling them off.  Releasing them.  Layers of ourselves, our past selves, our true selves, our bullshit, our hypocritical lies, our personal delusions.  Peel those all back to find the broken, scarred, and distrustful pieces of us to heal.  

I've been doing this work for years.  In the last 6-7 years I finally reached my a couple of my Little Mes. This isn't quick, overnight work.  It takes time, effort, and discipline.

Little Me from the mid 1980's

If you have pictures or items from when you were little, put those on your sacred spaces or in special places (unless they're triggering.  I don't know your traumas, but I would personally keep them until you're ready.  But at the same time, sometimes its better to let go.  This is something for you and/or a therapist to figure out.)  I have photos of Little Me and Teen Me, as well as photos of objects that my mom had saved from when I was a baby--rattle, a pair of shoes, a rusted tin of baby powder.  I also have little toys that I saved, too.  

As an adult, I still watch cartoons and collect some nerdy toys, and things.  I love bright colors and wearing clothes that I didn't think that I was pretty enough for.  I love fidget toys--which aren't age specific.  I do many things to honor my Inner Children--many things that bring me joy and healing.

Even with my kids, when it comes to their toys and baby blankets, I let them decide when they're "too old" for their stuff.  It usually involves taking a photo and thanking the items for years of joy and comfort.

There's a lot of guides to aid you in Inner Child healing work, if you chose this work.  Some more helpful than others.  Be aware of scammers and all that.

Thank yall for the support.

Face to the Sun.
Trust in Joy.
Follow the Petals...

- Priestess Foxlyn