A Answer

 Last night, I journeyed for advice.

I found myself in a dark cave, sitting across from Elen at a dark fire pit, Alum sitting on my crossed legs.  Goddesses around us.  This was the dark place that we worked the strength magik together recently.  But everything was frozen in time.  The goddesses, the light, everything, except for me.  They told me to wait, but this wasn't waiting--this was stuck.  No movement.  No passing time.  Stagnant.  I stood up, Alum asked me what was wrong.  I told him that this wasn't Wait.  This was stuck.

The rune Isa.

I was stuck, in between decisions.  This was true.  Although it's not like I had to make an immediate decision.  Nothing was on the line.  Just me trying to figure out what direction I should take.

A snake woman--who may or may not have been Medusa--slithered around the edge of camp.  Stabbed a bronze heart tipped arrow into my chest from behind.

I woke up on the cold snowy ground.  Flashes of panicked screaming and clawing out of a grave in my mind.  I looked to my right and saw a blurry scene that could've been a grave.  I laid there peacefully, getting my bearings.  The wind was blowing and cold.  The snow was soft and wet.  Alum beside me.  I looked up at him, standing by himself.  A flash of Yggdrasil behind my companion Spirit Staff.

I sat up and realized that I still had a wound in my chest.  The arrow was still there.  I reached in and pulled out my heart, the veins still attached to my innards.  I gently pulled the arrow out and looked at the wound.  Small.  Healing.  I put it back into my chest.  I think the arrow disappeared

Then I looked to my left and saw golden sandy desert.  I stood up and walked to the edge, barely feeling dry heat and scraping blowing sands.

Anubis appeared.  "Long time".  He said, but black polished jackal mask didn't move.  

It has been a long time.  The last time I saw Anubis, I was a kid.  He was a Guardian, as I interpreted Him then.

Then I remembered that I wasn't supposed to travel outside of the Northern Woods.  I was supposed to stay with Elen.  

I said this and turned to leave.  Anubis grabbed my left wrist and I wrenched it out of His grasp, and felt a burning pain.  Like rough sandpaper rubbed against my skin.

I don't like being grabbed by entities that I don't know.  Consent is a thing.  

He wasn't offended by my reaction.  Instead Anubis told me to focus on the Death Path.  Deathwalker.  

I nodded and turned.  Alum as a Nisse looked at my wrist and said that we should see Freyja.  

We went to Her cave.  My wings unfolded and stretched, like they were disappointed that we came by boat, instead of the winds.  This is the only way that I know to enter this cave.  I folded them all back up and entered.

I told Her about my thoughts from yesterday's post and what Anubis said, as She looked at and treated my wrist.  Working with spirits is my comfort.  I noticed yesterday when I was talking about my spirit work, I was excited, passionate, and comfortable.  For the most part I know what I'm doing when working with entities, but human work feels forced and uncomfortable...but I'm also drawn to it.  I want to help my communities, entities and humans.  But I wasn't sure if that comfort was toxic, or if I should be pushing my awkward ass more towards human community work.

She said that not all comfort zones are toxic.  Working with the spirit community gives me life and that's a good thing.  Follow my strengths, my instincts.  My confidence soars when I'm working with the Hidden.  Who said that I couldn't help my human community by working more with the spirit ones?  There's been a disconnect between human and spirit for a long time.  Things are changing--out of all of T/their control, whether either side wants it or not.  Bridges like me are important to that process.  She said this with a beautiful smile--one that I felt in my heart.  Heal the land.  Be the bridge between the seen and unseen.  Both communities need to remember and learn forgiveness--work together again.  Working with one community doesn't hinder the other.

She said to stick with ADF for now.  Check out the Death Doula thing when I have the funds.  ...basically to keep doing what I'm doing.  Be patient.  Things will fall into place and make sense.  She told me to go to sleep.  

In an instant, I returned to where I started.  I briefly saw Elen of the Ways give a small smile and nod in the warm flickering firelight.

Then I drifted off to sleep, my wrist no longer hurting.

I woke up this morning with a twinge of pain, but it was gone quickly.  Almost like a reminder.  

The words Death Path and Deathwalker on my brain.