June 1, 2025: My Revision Essay
Instead of a revision, I tossed the first attempt, and decided to start anew, since I wasn't going to be able to remember the answers to the questions asked, as annoying as that is. I journal almost daily and have a terrible memory. Too much to try to go through to find the answers.I've been studying and practicing a Norse spirit worker/prophetic tradition called Seiðr (sayth-ur) since 2022. It was actually quite easy to transition because it was a lot like my eclectic style of spirit work that I've been doing for about two decades. The only things different were the deities and using a high seat, varðlokkr (spirit songs), and staff to trance with. I've used drumming and rattles, masks and fetishes in my oracular and spirit work, but no special seats or staff.
I'm almost always connected or plugged into the Other, of course it didn't come easy to develop. I've always had psychic abilities, too, as many people in my family do. Even with my ability to almost effortlessly go to the astral, I didn't always have control over it. Unlike most of my family, I didn't try to ignore these abilities, I chose to develop them because I wanted to help people.
I have tried many methods since 2014. Guided meditations didn't work (not until I found Byron Ballard on Facebook and tried 4 squared breathing. There's just something about Byron's voice that just clicked for me), and at the time I didn't know how to work with my ADHD when it came to regular meditation. Although the tree visualization worked and I practiced and combined it with breath work and positive affirmations.
Eventually I learned how to control my astral ability. I can't remember how I did it…perhaps it was just to stop trying to fight it. Just let go and fall, so to speak. A trust fall into the arms of my Spirit Family? Now, most days I can just close my eyes and be in the astral–it usually takes very little effort to travel or even to connect to the Other. I don't usually need ritual or meditation for those things...it's as easy as asking for a presence. Someone's usually around.
I also learned that I don't have the brain for regular meditation. Apollon told me to use my imagination when I did my breath work and that it was okay to fidget and move–don't listen to other humans, they don't know how my brain works. I started experimenting with ecstatic postures and walking meditation, dancing and drumming, rattles, and trancing. My body wanted to move with the trance, so I stopped listening to know-it-all humans and instead to my body and my Teachers.
Hekate, Dionysus, and Apollon taught me how to turn off that analytical part of my brain that often pulled me out of deep sessions–it always wanted to debunk everything. They taught me how to trance, and it was the most freeing thing that I've ever experienced, and I was actually good at it. For a while I was trancing at least once a week for practice, healing, and joy. Due to my terrible posture and joint discomforts, it's easier for me to lay down, and so I'd trance just before bedtime (or waking up in the morning), go to my special little place in the astral–start and end my journeys at my little beach hut. Not worried about how I should be doing things, according to humans–clearly there are other ways of doing things.
Then Dionysus exposed me to possession work and led me to Diana Paxson. I was intrigued and clearly had the skill for it, so I read her books and did the exercises and the shadow work to learn more about myself–I worked hard to be healthy enough to deepen my work. Lots of Shadow Work trances, journaling, and therapy. I had to learn about myself and my energies. I had to learn how other energies felt, and how to gain control over me and push others out when necessary. Course I also had to get to know my Spirit Allies and Teachers, to trust them and me, which we did in and out of trance. Most importantly I learned to trust my Shadow Self and come into alignment with her.
Fast forward to when I began practicing seiðr, I was a trancing pro! Heck, I was getting better and better with possession work, too, but I wanted a community with teachers to help me become more in control. I still struggled with some fears and imposter syndrome, which kept me from truly letting go and handing the reins over to a Deity. I wanted to learn how to overcome so that I could serve my Deities and human communities better.
Freyja wanted me to change up my normal practice and go deeper, gain more control over my trance possession work. Seiðr just clicked better with me than other traditions I've researched.
I worked with Freyja and the Spirit who'd become my companion to make my Spirit Stick. It's white river birch with two spike white tailed deer antlers wrapped together with electrical tape and twine to look like a distaff, painted with dove's blood ink, and my red handprints climbing from the bottom to the top. Freyja and Frigg's names carved into it. With some trinkets that Spirit selected (now it even has jingle bells!).
Once the staff was complete, the Spirit told me things they liked and disliked, and a feeding schedule was set, and the Spirit moved in. I began to trance with my staff, tools and garb. I didn't have all that I needed in the beginning like a high seat or songs, but I know with regular practice, I will gain the rest. I even made a seiðr ritual in ADF-style to help me learn both things.
I put on my garb and performed the ADF-style seiðr ritual. Then I got to the Work, I placed my Spirit Stick between my legs, closed my eyes, and traveled to Yggdrasil. My Stick was a part of the great silvery-blue glowing tree, and we stood on one of my branches. Sleipnir appeared, and Oðin took my hand, and away we went. I returned to Yggdrasil, grabbed my stick, and returned to my body.
We don't always start at Yggdrasil, and it's not always Oðin and Sleipnir who greet us, it just depends on what we're doing. I don't always do my seiðr with the COoR either, just when I have time, but I always do it with my Spirit Stick–a Spirit Companion in a physical form/home.
Since October of 2022, I've been working with getting to know the Nature Spirits in my area. They already knew me, and the spirits in this area are strong because of others. I already wanted to build a relationship with them, and with seiðr, I have to. Freyja's said that in order to learn my spirit songs, I have to learn it from the Nature Spirits, as we'll be working together, not just with psychic work, but magikal, too.
Since winter, I've been unplugging more from technology and spending more time outside. Sitting and communing with the spirits, listening and journaling, and maybe with some divination. I try to trance at least once a week, but sometimes the Kindred won't even let me do it weekly. They don't want me to push myself too hard. I'm not a beginner learning how to meditate, I'm an advanced practitioner learning how to do some advanced deep work that often requires me to just sit for a while on the lessons learned or take some time and recuperate. They certainly don't care about being on the Dedicant Path's timeline or details.
On the times that they let me practice, with my Spirit Stick, I can just close my eyes and go to my starting point. Sometimes I don't even really do anything–no travels, no lessons, just shift into my astral form and exist in the astral of my home or practice shapeshifting.
Minus the rain, I'm glad that it's been so pleasant outside, but I have bought mosquito netting so I can sit outside without being eaten alive by the tiny vampires this summer. I want to start trancing outside at night, when it is very quiet and I can see the stars, trying something within seiðr called utiseti–sitting out in nature, opening myself up to the spirits.
I have also learned a part of a spirit song, something that wouldn't be possible without regular practice and mental discipline.
Regular practice isn't just good for my overall health, it's also important for me to deepen my magikal and spirit work, too. Trance work comes so easy for me now, I'm curious about the next steps. Regular weekly practice keeps me grounded and present, too, not just from a curious mind but also with the political climate of the USA, too.
It's been for the mind, body, and soul.
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Here's hoping that this second attempt is better than the first. I really don't know how to make it better without yall giving me a questionnaire to answer. I've been practicing and studying the occult for 30 years and can't remember everything that I've experimented with. Yall want minutes? I don't time myself, I just do it until the Kindreds say I'm done. So, if this is another failed attempt, then please give me a questionnaire. Clearly, I don't understand how to do this essay. I am following these criteria as best as I can understand them.
