On September 16th, 2025, I performed a Fall Equinox ritual for my druid grove honoring Persephone and Her Return to the Underworld. The focus that I wanted to have was a “moment without sorrow”.
Day of, I was struggling with my Au-ADHD—some days are better than others and the 16th was just ugh. That lying bitch Anxiety was just doing just that—being a lying bitch.
I love writing and performing rituals despite my neurodivergencies, such as autism (which I’m only self diagnosed for the time being), ADHD, and dyslexia. But because of those divergences, sometimes I get nervous about messing up—even though there’s nothing wrong with messing up during ritual, I do it every time. It’s just the nature of the beast, and my Kindreds have never got upset with me. Just is, you know? I’m human, not perfect. But on Tuesday, Anxiety was just being bitchy, making me all nervous and stuff. There weren’t even any strangers!
Perhaps because Persephone’s Descent is one of my favorite rituals and I just wanted it to be good? It wasn’t my first time doing it with other people, but it was my first time for it for this group of druids.
All day long, I just stared at a script. I couldn’t rehearse at all! Brain just wouldn’t let me. Instead I did little things throughout the day, like listening to fall and Persephone songs, slowly gathering everything I’d need for the ritual that evening, and take my purification shower. I also went over things with Persephone, especially asking if it was going to be a possession and if I needed to wear Her mask.
With most of my rituals I wear veils/headcoverings, and with my oracular rituals, I either cover my eyes or I wear a mask. I enjoy making masks, and need to make more. So far I only have a handful for oracular sessions, such as a reindeer, raven, fox, and one for Medusa. But this is Persephone’s:
No to the possession part, but w/We both still wanted the mask present.
When 9:30 rolled around, I was finally excited—not to rehearse, of course! It was time to set up the altar! I decided to add “dramatic” lighting to it—aka my white ring light to bring out the mask, instead of using the yucky yellow ceiling light. The ceiling light honestly made the “floating” mask look creepy, and I didn’t want that effect.
When we all gathered on Zoom, I let people know ahead of time that my ADHD was bad and I wasn’t able to rehearse. I was also having other ND issues.
Then it was time. I asked for volunteers for certain parts. Given that one person was a Zeus devotee, I asked them not invite Him. Not because of the story, but because He and I have a rocky relationship. So no Zeus.
I went over some things, like the Working and making energy balls/forms and intention and all that. I originally had something more complex planned, with weaving paper together. Good ole too much gene. I decided that energy forms would be better, because last week’s Working was about our inner power and that we are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. By creating energy forms, that’s more impactful, because you can feel that power. Feel the heat and the gentle resistance between your hands. Or however a person senses that energy.
Then we got to it. I started the ritual off with a short, light guided meditation. Everyone closed their eyes and breathed at their own pace. Then I had them start off in a tent, hearing a noise outside. They grabbed a light source and investigated, finding a doe. They followed the doe to a mountain. The doe left them at the bottom, but wanted them to follow. They got a ride from a giant Honey Bee—Melissae—Bee Priestesses of Demeter, Persephone, and Others. At the peak, I had them open their eyes, and I continued with why we were all there.
There were some parts where I had to slow down because I was stuttering or misreading and I did have a tiny bit of panic, especially with one line of a prayer because it was just an awkward sentence, made even worse by me. There was this tiny moment of Imposter Syndrome, too. But I shut that little voice up. Just because I wasn’t “professional” doesn’t mean anything. Plus I’m neurodivergent—I can’t turn those off. Neurodivergence doesn’t care about timing. Plus, we—Neurodivergent People—can, too. My stuttering and misreading wasn’t a weakness, nor did it show that I didn’t know what I was doing. It just was.
I took a deep breath (a few times during) and remembered that we all mess up—and that this isn’t my first rodeo—public ritual or Zoom ritual—that I’ve been performing group rituals since 2017. I got this.
At one point, my brain went on autopilot, and I ended section wondering if any of it made sense! I think I read it. I know my lips were moving and my mouth was making noise. I just zoned out for a few seconds. I don’t know where I went, but I returned at the end of that particular hymn, and no one, but me, looked confused.
ADHD.
I kept going.
We got to the Working. I had them close their eyes, breath at their own pace, and rub their hands together. I took them back up to the mountain peak with the Half Living/Half Dead Doe. They drew down energy from the tittering tottering balance sun and moon. We made our forms, with our intentions and subjects, and then either brought the energy into ourselves, or asked our Kindreds to deliver our gifts. Then the Withering Doe laid down, rapidly decayed, and Her soul seeped into the mountain, and Persephone continued Her Descent to the Underworld.
Then came the Omen. Kore—Persephone’s Maiden self—gave a message through the Mythic Oracle by Carisa Mellado.
Kore: You don't have to do this alone. Yes, we want you to rely on your inner power. Ask us for help but don't expect us to do it all for you. We're not vending machines, (Kore smiles) as is such a common phrase in the Pagan community. We can do miracles and do it all for you, but at some point you have to pick yourself up and take steps so that you don't need us. Show us that you are listening and learning. We are support, not crutches. Each of you is powerful within your own selves.
Persephone gave the blessing through The European Goddesses and Spirits Oracle by Johanna Polle.
Persephone's Message: Hold tight to yourselves, hug yourselves, hold tight to your family by blood or spirit, hold tight to the deities. Your family of blood and spirit are closer to you than We will ever be. Reach out to your living and your dead more often. Reach out to who you consider your ancestors and nature spirits.
Baba Yaga and Frau Holda. Holle. Crones, but not Hags.
Me: In my experience, Hags are more blunt, while crones are more grandmotherly. Although they are the same entities. Baba Yaga is certain the Fierce Hag and the Holy Grandmother.
Me: I saw a hound, like a greyhound, Hecate walking away with a book in hand, looking down at the dog lovingly.
Persephone: Two halves of a whole. Kore and Persephone. Life and Death. Spring and Fall. Summer and Winter. The crones: grandmother and hag. Grandmother and hag. Double edged dagger. Mental clarity. Cut ADHD in half.
Me: Right here, according to Persephone my ADHD brain was starting to derail--which I never picked up on because I was channeling Her, but Persephone stopped the derailment and kept the connection between us. But there was a period of silence and repeating the whole Grandmother and Hag thing above.
Persephone: I am life and death.
Me: I saw Two dragons or two snakes that are constantly chasing each other, like the Sun and Moon.
Persephone: I am eternal. I am joy, I am sorrow. I am love, I am hate. I am grief, I am healing. What I impart to you all is the ability not to just be both, but to navigate both. It is work, but you don't have to take it on by yourself. The work is a gift, only if you want it. The how you must discover on your own, whether with another dark god/goddess/death/light one. Shadows and light are not separate. They are not good and evil, those are human terms, perspectives. Pagan community needs to stop treating them as separate. I am natural order. Primordial.
Finally, I drew a card: The Norns. Entities of Past, Present, Future; tenders of Yggdrasil. Fate Tenders. In this deck, the Norns represent Acceptance.
Persephone: Fate. Something that humans also tend to fight against and debate. You will not know the truth in this temporary life.
Me: The Norns are about Acceptance in this deck.
Persephone: Accept your part in nature. Accept that no matter how light you try to be, there is darkness in you too. What is one person's darkness is another's light, one's crazy is another's sanity. It just depends on where you are. Two halves of a whole. Two sides of one coin.
I give the blessing of accepting things you cannot change. Humans say it often, but it is true. You cannot control others with shame, grief, doubt, anger. You can only control yourself, save for mental disorders and neurological issues, of course. Thoughts are always changing, evolving or devolving. What does acceptance look like to you? You are human right now with human brains in these complex times. Humans are fickle creatures. It sounds bad but it is not—fluctuating thoughts are a good thing, allows for critical thinking and new perspectives. You cannot help what you are, as the gods cannot, and gods perceive things differently than you do. It isn't bad, it just is. Ask yourselves what acceptance is—toxic versus healthy acceptance. My blessings will be somewhere there in the middle. Acceptance is my Blessing.
Persephone was very gentle. Tremendously wise and powerful, but very very caring and soft, too. A good queen for our dead. Hades has great taste!
From the Omen, I Hallowed the Waters of Life and we drank deep the message and blessing from Kore and Persephone.
Then came the steps to end the ritual. Persephone wasn’t completely gone from me, so I was still not quite myself. I didn’t fight it. Once the Zoom ended, I cleaned up my space and I grounded, wrote down some thoughts about the ritual and edited photos.
All-in-all another successful High Day ritual.
Blessed Equinox, may it be gentle.
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Trust in Sunna. Trust in Joy. Follow the Bees…
~ Priestess Foxlyn