Howdy Friday the 13th, yall!
I hope the month has been gentle.
I'm still here, although not posting as often. December's are exciting and fun, but also heavy with grief for me. I've been working on being present for myself and with my family. Focusing on living our paganism and prepping for the 12 Days of Yule...although technically, Yule is all December for us. December's are usually full of rituals and activities.
Course last year, after my mom's death in October, I was watching A Christmas Story Christmas 10 or more times a day, everyday for two months. Spoiler alert, Ralphie's dad dies in the beginning, and Ralphie tries to make Christmas super special, but in the end realizes that you don't need all those traditions and activities to have a great holiday. Sometimes less is better, especially when you're mourning. I've been keeping this in mind.
Last December was a month of joy and grief.
This December is a month of joy and grief. Although this year, I put the lights up outside and did the Krampus Night rite. But we're probably not going to do as much as past Yuletides, and that's okay.
- Ornament Making
- Baking/Decorating Reindeer Mother cookies or cupcakes (instead of a Yule Stump Cake as I do every year)
- Yule Goat Stories and history on Yule Eve
- Gift Exchange and the Reindeer Mother Rite on the Solstice
- Maybe put together a family feast with guests
- Mother's Night on Christmas Eve
- Polar Express Movie, Special Holiday Cookies, and Hot Chocolate on Christmas
- Burning the Yule Log on New Years Eve
The above are what's planned. If I feel like doing more Yule Days/Rites, I will. I've been listening to my body more lately, and paying attention to those overwhelm triggers. I've been very tired, numb, but happy for the most part. No pressure to get all of the stuff done, especially the normal traditions. If I don't have the energy, I don't have the energy. No harm. There's probably next year.
Even due to financial stressors and us having to push the gift exchange back to...I dunno, sometime this month or next...I've been calm about it. Which I'm not sure is due to growth or grief. The kids understand.
The big reason why I'm grieving is because I really miss family holiday get togethers. I see my in-laws frequently, but it's not the same. When my grandma was alive, we always had them. When she died in '14, my mom kind of took over that responsibility. When she died last October, none of us have really got together since. I want to have family over for a Yule Dinner, but I don't know that I'm going to have the energy.
Low Spoons.
I just really miss my family and the dinners we used to have. We don't see each other that often. That's just how its always been. I've been dealing with that grief of seeing them less, not having the support to plan a holiday party, and trying to not hate on myself for not having the energy to get something together.
So I grieve. I'm taking it one day at a time. Doing my best to stay present and listen more to my body. Resting more often. I'm loving that for once, we're actually having appropriate December weather. I'm celebrating the bitter cold and the blowing snow. I'm going out at night to see the awesome and humble light displays around the neighborhood, while remembering to turn ours on. I love seeing holiday lights--takes me back. Makes me happy. And so I hope our holiday lights brighten someone else's darkness, even just a small smile.
After the holidays, I hope to get back to my regular posting and Pick-a-Tool posts. Next year, I'll be focusing more on the psychic parts of Hearth Fox Oracle, than the handmade products--remembering why I started Hearth Fox Oracle in the first place. Depending on the political climate, I'll try to vend at as many events as I can, as usual, too.
The grief after my mom's death is hitting me harder than I thought it would. She and I didn't have a great relationship, especially towards the end. I don't blame myself for anything, but I've been working on my Mother Wound, which also means taking lots of breaks from that kind of healing, too. I'm not rushing through it.
Anyway, try to be present, drink plenty of water, and exercise when you can. Take care of your mental health. May this month be gentle.
As always, thank yall for the likes, follows, purchases, recommendations, support, vending opportunities, and more!
My Etsy is open for holiday gifts.
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- Priestess Oracle Kristy "Foxlyn" Tackett
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