Sometime in the mid 20-teens, I began to have visions of a cave. Into the cave trickled a stream of blood, thick and bright. Sometimes flowing into the cave, sometimes out. Menstrual blood. This was the entrance to Gaia’s Womb, I’d learn. Then I started following a White-Tailed Doe to the mouth of Gaia’s Womb. Once, before going inside, the Doe turned to me. She was half dead and half alive. She continued inside. My Fox Guide would sometimes meet me at the opening and he would enter. I wanted to follow, but it was very dark and I had no light. Sometimes Honeybees would pick me up and take me to another entrance of Gaia’s Womb through their honey-rich beehive built into an crack. From here, I could see the bees not just carrying pollen, but also souls back and forth from the hive. One darkmoon in September, Fox and I came to the opening. This time I needed no additional light, because inside were bioluminescence light from mushrooms, mosses, flowers, and other plants. Fox and ...
Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my mom's death. Weird, feels longer than that. I guess, because of our rough relationship, it has been longer. Grief and Healing aren't linear. They are a spiral, a tangle, a mess of emotions and memories. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm not, sometimes I'm at peace. Sometimes I'm mad, sometimes I'm understanding. Over the last few weeks I've allowed myself to be angry. I've explored that anger a little bit. I've allowed myself to be numb, too. I've allowed that numb to make me rest. A grey bubble of protection. Silence. I've allowed myself to be cradled by the silence. Hagalaz. Thurisaz. Protective shelters from the storm. Not a bad storm. Just a storm. Neutral energies. Increase of spirit activities. Anticipation. Fears. Expectations. Just storms moving through. Isaz. Stop. Take shelter. Rest. ...