Skip to main content

Posts

Death Woman: My relationship with Persephone

Sometime in the mid 20-teens, I began to have visions of a cave. Into the cave trickled a stream of blood, thick and bright. Sometimes flowing into the cave, sometimes out. Menstrual blood. This was the entrance to Gaia’s Womb, I’d learn. Then I started following a White-Tailed Doe to the mouth of Gaia’s Womb. Once, before going inside, the Doe turned to me. She was half dead and half alive. She continued inside. My Fox Guide would sometimes meet me at the opening and he would enter. I wanted to follow, but it was very dark and I had no light. Sometimes Honeybees would pick me up and take me to another entrance of Gaia’s Womb through their honey-rich beehive built into an crack. From here, I could see the bees not just carrying pollen, but also souls back and forth from the hive. One darkmoon in September, Fox and I came to the opening. This time I needed no additional light, because inside were bioluminescence light from mushrooms, mosses, flowers, and other plants. Fox and ...
Read more
Recent posts

2 Year Deathday Anni

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my mom's death.  Weird, feels longer than that.  I guess, because of our rough relationship, it has been longer. Grief and Healing aren't linear.  They are a spiral, a tangle, a mess of emotions and memories.  Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm not, sometimes I'm at peace. Sometimes I'm mad, sometimes I'm understanding. Over the last few weeks I've allowed myself to be angry.  I've explored that anger a little bit. I've allowed myself to be numb, too.  I've allowed that numb to make me rest.  A grey bubble of protection.   Silence.  I've allowed myself to be cradled by the silence.   Hagalaz. Thurisaz. Protective shelters from the storm.   Not a bad storm.  Just a storm.  Neutral energies.  Increase of spirit activities.  Anticipation.  Fears.  Expectations.   Just storms moving through. Isaz.  Stop.  Take shelter.  Rest. ...
Read more

I'm Aware, I Care

Not that its needed, but I just wanted to say that I'm not ignoring what's happening in our country.  I stay informed through trusted sources.  I just want this space to be politics free...for the most part.  Minus times when I feel compelled to post messages or spells or whatever.   It's not good for mental health to be in a constant state of fear, anger, and sadness. As my deities have told me time and time again, I need to focus on myself, my loved ones, and local for now.  I need to rest, heal, and study--I need to get stronger, so that when the time is right, I'm ready.  It's not that I don't care, I do.  And months ago, when the Gods told me to not do anything, I didn't want to listen.   But there are many people who are fighting and helping.  People with far more knowledge, experience, energy, resources, and connections than I have.  People from all walks of life.  They are fighting against the fascists, despite wha...
Read more

Dedicant Path Essay 5: 2 Powers Meditation

 July 9, 20 24: The Two Powers Meditation is a method to help one ground and center, getting into the right headspace for ritual, spell work, divination, and whatever task requires calm and focus, be it spiritual or mundane. It is a meditation that can help to connect, balance, and anchor a person to the waters of the Underworld and to the fires of the Heavens, while also using the waters and star fire to fill three cauldrons within us to purify, restore, and empower. For many years, I always used the basic tree meditation of roots and branches to ground and anchor myself between earth and sky. I had attempted other guided meditations in-person and online, but I struggled with them, whether it was the delivery, the script, or my ADHD–often the meditations are just too slow for my attention span. Eventually, I'd find a method that worked for me called Anchoring by Kee Reiter. Anchoring is like the Two Powers and other methods. Kee will have you start from you...
Read more

Masks and Antlers

I got the kids costumes ready for Halloween: 1 Fallout Vault Dweller 1 Fallout Wastelander 1 Godzilla Which just leaves me.  I usually go as a Kitsune/Foxkin, Raven/Crowkin, or Goatkin.  Last year, passing out candy, I was a Foxkin.  This year I'm really feeling Deer energy, so I may go as a Deer Woman.  I have two deer masks, but one I specifically use in my Reindeer Mother Winter Solstice Rituals.   Yule 2022 The other is a gold buck mask that I've been wanting to repaint.  It hasn't yet been consecrated as an Oracle Mask, unlike the mask above. It's not dedicated to any of my Deer Entities yet.  Course when I try to picture myself as Deer Woman, the old Crow Hag takes over.  I guess it's an either/or for Deer or Crow this year.   There's always Ren Fair, if I can afford to go this year.  In 2023, I went as Crow/Raven Hag and it was awesome.  People actually wanted photos with/of me.  That was a lot of fun. Oct 2...
Read more

Happy Moonday!

Blessed Full Moon!  I've been wanting to do some spellwork lately but haven't had the energy for it.  Full moons either drain me or energize me, and so far, I've been pretty neutral.  I had a busy weekend with both sides of the family--one gathering triggered a panic attack in the early morning and the other, I was glutened by coleslaw from Kroger.  Coleslaw is supposed to be safe--I've been gluten-free since 2019?  And I know to check the ingredients of foods that are supposed to be safe.  I especially hate eating at restaurants because they always be adding wheat fillers to foods that aren't supposed to have wheat.  Like IHOP adds wheat to their omlets, or they use to--we haven't eaten there in a couple of years.  I know to check...   Saturday evening was rough--my gluten/celiac reactions can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days.  I'm glad that I didn't eat too much.  Normally I'm pretty careful--checking all of the l...
Read more

A Pumpkin Afterlife

On the 1st, whilst looking for a tarot deck (that was NOT where it was supposed to be), I found a small pouch of Story Cubes that I had intended on turning into a divination set ten years ago.  Elk and Manannan were totally into the idea.  I crocheted a pouch for the set.  Midway through I realized that it should've been an apple pouch instead of a pumpkin.  BUT personally I'd rather go to an Isle of Pumpkins than Apples in the Afterlife.  Definitely not traditional Manannan, but UPG.  Apples aren't even native to North America.  Pumpkins are though! The pouch is big enough for my shuffling hand and for more Story Cubes, hence why it's a little wonky.  I also designed it a little different than most of my pouches, so it sits flat on its butt.  Maybe if I do an apple, I'll make that one a drawstring?  I could also still make this one into a drawstring, too. Given Manannan's "pick whatever tool you want" attitude-- You're already good wit...
Read more

Mama Hekate: My Relationship with this Torch Bearing Titan of the Crossroads, Spirits, and Death.

  This is Hekate, a Hellenic Titaness of the Crossroads, of Spirits, of Psychopomps, Witches and Magic, Prophecy, Torch Bearer, Keeper of Keys and Liminal Spaces, Hearth and Home; Earth, Sea, and Sky; and Protector of Women (cis/trans), those in-between, and children. And so much more that I can’t cover in this post. Hekate is a popular goddess, so there’s a lot of resources about her, such as: Covenant of Hekate. https://www.hekatecovenant.com/ d’Este, Sorita. Hekate Liminal Rites: A Study of the rituals, magic and symbols of the torch-bearing Triple Goddess of the Crossroads . d’Este, Sorita. Hekate: Her Sacred Fires . d’Este, Sorita. Circle for Hekate - Volume 1: History & Mythology . Gill, Nikita. Hekate . Holub, Joan. Hecate the Witch . Middle School Level Book. Keeping Her Keys. https://keepingherkeys.com/ & https://keepingherkeys.com/books Moss, Viviene. Pagan Portals - Hekate: A Devotional . Sannion (Editor). Bearing Torches: A Devotional Anthology for H...
Read more

Another One Bites the Dust: HFO is Leaving Substack

I’m a little burned out, so I’m closing my Substack . I’m not making any friends, HFO isn’t growing, I’m not gaining any customers, and even though I have 10 readers, no one opens up my stuff, hearts, or even comments. Not even a little interaction to let me know that there’s actually a person there, and not just a bot. Even with my business cards, hardly anyone visits my websites! What’s the point? Just to have an online presence? Why, if there’s no traffic? No business growth? It’s just a waste of money, paper, and effort. Who am I writing for? Don’t say me, because if that were the case, I could just write in a journal and not bother trying to share anything with anyone. That’s a non-answer parroted by substacks with hundreds and thousands of likes and subscribers—people who don’t need the help. Some who probably paid for their followers. I don’t know if SS is like Meta where bots and scammers do that. Others who’s SS probably thrives off of drama. I’m sure there’s a...
Read more

Dedicant Path Essay 3: Book Reviews

 June 7, 20 25: Indo-European Book Review: In Search of the Indo-Europeans by J.P. Mallory When I selected this book, I did so because it sounded interesting. I thought it was going to be more about the people and cultures. Instead, it’s about the language, which I like etymology—I took a class in high school and at college. It’s an interesting subject, learning about the history of words and thus the speakers of those words. I was excited about the book. However, reading the book was a challenge for me. I have dyslexia and really love reading and researching and all that, and this book was difficult. Ironically it was just too wordy—just get to the point. It was almost like the author was being paid by the letter, or had a word count he had to reach, too. Too many long pretentious words when one word would have worked. Boom, to the point. I’m definitely not a fan of the author’s writing style. I know I’m not the best writer—wordy af—but I’m not a professional writer! ...
Read more