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A Rethink

Back in early 2022, some of my closest deities initiated me into priesthood to serve them and other entities. After that, I paid $25 or so for ordination from Universal Life Church and got my marriage license from my state. Since early 2022, I've been seeking training programs to earn my clergy ordination. I serve my entities, but I also want to ethically serve my human communities, too. I often go back and forth about removing "Priestess" from my business stuff, because sometimes I feel like a fraud. The Imposter Syndrome is strong, yall. Since being sure that this is what I want to do, I've been doing a lot of independent studies, taking workshops and courses, and learning from other Pagan Clergy, too.

Searching for legit schools aimed at Paganism isn't easy.  In a lot of places Paganism still isn't accepted as a real umbrella of religions and spiritual paths.  Chances of finding seminaries that ordain Pagans...I wasn't successful.  And I looked at a lot of different schools.  That and they were just so expensive.  A lot of them cost more than the college that I attended!  Definitely not for the poor, which is fucked up, I think.  I'm all for teachers getting paid, but holy shit, just felt like gatekeeping.  There was just no way, even if they offered courses for Pagans, that I was going to be able to afford it.

There's also a lot of quick training programs, but they're not what I was looking for.  Especially the ones are that just watching short videos for $100's.  No human interaction, no real training, no real studies.  Doesn't feel legit to me.

Or they were all Wiccan.  I'm not Wiccan.

I found Cherry Hill Seminary, which is aimed at Pagans and other spiritualists.  At the time, I think the price was $1200-1500 for 2-3 years.  I did my research and this pagan seminary was legit.  So I started saving--IF I'd even be accepted into the program.  

During my search, a druid fellowship kept popping up in my everyday, in dreams, and two entities Freyja and Baba Yaga, kept guiding me towards it.  I've attended a local grove's public rituals for 10+ years, always going back and forth about joining ADF--I love their rituals and that local grove--but I was hesitant.  I've been in many toxic groups that went against my eclectic nature and just didn't have great leadership.  And I was still healing from abuse suffered by an ex-HPS.  The more research I did on ADF, the more I realized that I could still be eclectic, and still have my many different entities, be them piece of the PIE (Proto-Indo-European) or not.  As long as I did ADF rituals with PIE entities.  A lot of my entities are Hellenic, Roman, and Norse--hearth cultures found in the PIE.  (Although I don't understand why Minoan isn't a Hearth Culture within ADF...)

Freyja and Baba Yaga said that They'd guide me to an affordable pagan clergy training program.  They did.  Obviously, I didn't just want to join ADF for the a clergy training and certificate, I wanted to BE a Druid, too.  To embrace all that it means to be in this fellowship.  I joined and jumped into the Dedicant Path, which is a program I have to complete before moving on to their other programs.  It's going to take me a while to reach their clergy program--if I'm even accepted into it.  But I'm willing to work for it.

The thing that I'm rethinking is what I want to focus on.  I got the ability to solemnize marriages, and I thought about focusing on pagan and LGBTQ+ handfasting, unions, marriages.  As well as baby blessings and great celebrations of life and milestones...but I kept falling back towards the shadows of trauma and end-of-life.

In college, I wanted to be therapist, but my money-focused, anti-therapy family talked me out of it.  Even though I wasn't interested in the money, I wanted to help people, my family shamed me out of that degree.  Years later and I still regret it.  I'm hoping one day that I can go back to school and become a therapist.  I want to focus on people in need, people dealing with trauma, people who feel trapped in abuse, people who've escaped and are in need of support.  I've been there and it's lonely as hell.

I do that now, from time to time, but not as a medical professional, because I am not one.  I prefer people to be therapy and/or because therapy is expensive to have a support group.  Really, I've provided the safe space for them to talk.  Sometimes people just need someone to listen.  If I'm able to, I point them in the direction of organizations and professionals who can help them.  Who can provide what I'm not trained/licensed to provide. 

I also want to become a Death Doula and help people and families accept death and learn healthy grieving.

As a Pagan, I'd also like to perform Pagan funerals.

I do have a Pagan wedding coming up in April, but minus friends and family, I think that may be my last marriage.  I'd much rather focus on things that many people don't.  Death, grief, and healing.  I'll continue to do my own independent studies, while also working so I can return to college and get my degree. I'll continue to walk this druid path, too, and see where I'm at in a few years, if I'm ready to walk the path of Druid Clergy.

I'm still offering my Home/Property Cleansing and Blessing services, because this Seidkona is a pretty strong psychic and seer, and pretty good at protection magiks, too.  I may need more training for working with humans, but I earned my priestess initiation for working with different entities (course there's always more to learn!).  I do enjoy working with spirits, and helping humans form positive relationships with them.  That's definitely a strength of mine, what I'm more comfortable doing, and you know, maybe where I should be focusing my services.  This is something to explore as I walk with ADF.  Perhaps it's not necessarily death, but spirit work?

Thank you for the Likes, Follows, Shares, recommendations, purchases, and support!

- Priestess Wren

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