Howdy! Long time no post, although I have been active my Facebook. Life's been day-by-day here. My mom died back in October, and although she and I didn't have the best relationship (technically my grief journey with her started in 2020...well a little before that), it's hitting me harder than I thought. Although I've been grieving a little longer than others, this is the finality, you know? No apologies, no mending, me--once again--having to find closure on my own. Listening to certain songs over and over.... Watching A Christmas Story Christmas over and over almost every day. That movie's message was something that I really needed last month, except there weren't any surprise gifts under the tree on Yule or Christmas day.
With cPTSD and ADHD, I've struggled with insomnia for most of my life, but with this grief, I've been experiencing it more frequently than normal.
I've made the decision that I'm in no mental or spiritual shape to offer my Pagan Ministry Services at this time. I am still offering my oracle and psychic services, and of course my Etsy shop is still open, but I just can't handle more than that at this time.
Other than honoring my grief and taking healing one day at a time, what else have I been up to? I've been restocking for 2024's vending season. I don't have any events lined up right now, but I've been keeping my eyes open. I've been working on Hearth Spirit Plushies, which are little spirit critters and beings often associated with homes and property, such as Tomten, Nisse, Agathos Daimon (to me are represented by snakes), and other beings. But instead of over complicating with the different names, I'm just sticking with Hearth Spirits. So far I've made snakes, spiders, gnomes, and I just finished two mushrooms early this morning.
I have loads of projects that I've got in the works, like staffs and wands; and new skills to learn such as wood carving, candle making, and spinning yarn.
I'm hoping to not stress myself out too much with self imposed deadlines and vending bookings this year. While online business is depressing and frustrating, fighting with the algorithms, I love in-person vending. Nothing beats it--the interactions, the sales, laughing with your booth neighbors. I really enjoy vending, whether I'm doing psychic work or selling products.
Because my online sales are very low-to non-existent right now, I've been thinking about closing my Etsy Shop. Although the monthly fees aren't that high, and it's good to have that online presence. I may consult my cards and see what path I should take.
I've also been thinking about taking a hiatus this year and just resting and healing. Making my plushies and other products, and learning new skills during. Prepare for 2025.
--Oh, there's a black moth in my office. Although we've had a warm fall and winter, it's frigid now. A little out of season? As I talk about taking breaks, here comes a black moth? Hmmm, better look into the potential spiritual message with this one. Haven't done a personal reading on the Hearth Fox Blog in a while, have I?
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First, using my pendulum, I'll ask my Spirit Guide if this is a message? "Yes" it swings.
Yes for cards, no for runes, circle for both, no movement for none. Yes swing, with the word "tarot" with my psychic sight.
Major Arcana deck. The Major Arcana dealing with your overarching journey. I'm interested in what they have to say.
The pendulum also swung on the runes option, so yes for Elder Futhark, no for womanrunes, circle for witch runes, no movement for Greek Oracle. Elder Futhark.
Okay, so stone or wooden runes? Stone.
Black Moth what is your message for me? Does it have to do with my business?
Pendulum swings to "yes".
"Rest" "Isa" "Draw"
With the pendulum I asked how many cards. "One."
I drew the card and asked if it was reversed. "No."
I've flipped it to get the High Priestess.
Now with this deck (Tarot of the Witches by Fergus Hall), I associate this card with Hekate, and moths I also consider to be one of Her sacred animals. She is one of my Spiritual Mothers and Psychic Mentors. She's one of my main guardians regarding consensual possession work, too.
If I'm overwhelmed or going through some heavy stuff, Hekate will put a veil over me to shield and protect me from everything. A "Veil of Silence", I heard Her just call it. Unless I have a psychic/oracular session, I can't "hear" Anyone or read people. It's not quite like not having abilities, I can still sense entities like disir (ancestors) and nature spirits. I'm shut off from some of the more intense entities and energies.
I love interacting with my Gods, but God energy is intense and can be very draining. During this time of grief, I've only been interacting with certain mentors, such as Hekate, Loki, and Elen of the Ways. A little bit of Odin and Freyja. Everyone else has been respectfully keeping a distance to allow me to heal. That and would you want to piss off Hekate?
So I have this Veil of Silence over me, protecting me and giving me time to recharge. Psychically, shit got crazy after my mom died. I had to tell her she was dead for one thing, then she appeared dead despite that I told her not to come to me until she settled--her energy was too chaotic. As great of respecting my boundaries as she was in life, let me tell you. I've seen spirits in their death forms, but I guess when its your mom, it's traumatizing.
Anyway, the High Priestess. Stillness, Introspection, Inner self.
Now for the Elder Futhark runes. This stone set in particular, Freyja favors.
Kenaz - Torch, Guidance.
Jera - Harvest
Dagaz - New Day, Renewal
"Just a bit longer" whispers a Norn in a raspy voice. She comes from the darkness--a cave perhaps? With gray skin, thin black and white hair, wearing a blindfold. "The harvest is coming. Wait."
Okay, so should I close my Etsy? "No." Should Hearth Fox Oracle take a break this year? "No." Just keep going on with my current plan? "Yes."
Okie dokie.
"There's more but you already know...within. Go within with Elen of the Ways, Perchta, Hulda, the Hags of the North, of the Bitter North. There you will find your answers."
It's funny that I've been really wanting to do some winter camping. Except I don't have the equipment or know-how for something like that, nor have I camped since my college days. Perhaps in the future? I do prefer cooler camping to summer camping. Since 2020, I've been feeling a pull to the north--I keep seeing a lighthouse in a winter storm. Not sure what it means yet. In time, it'll make sense.
In the fall I was also told to not journey as often to the Other. When I do, only to Elen of the Ways. Elen recently made me one of Her Priestesses in this life. When I meet with Elen, instead of my warm beach, I go to the middle of a snow storm in the far north. Some pines and bushes. A fur covered hut with a small burning fire outside of it. Myself wearing reindeer furs that allow me to shapeshift into a reindeer peryton (winged deer, only not some demonic monster). I go and sit at the fire, across from the hut and wait for Her. Sometimes Elen brings friends--Winter Hags, The Morrigan. Feral. Fierce. Challenging. Wise. Intense. That Baba Yaga energy.
So don't close up shop yet. Take 2024 slow. No rash decisions, no grief decisions either. Take my time.
Heard!
Thank you Guides. Thank you Hekate. Thank you Black Moth.
And thank you who support me through Follows, Likes, Shares, Purchases, and Encouragement. I really appreciate it.
- Priestess Oracle Foxlyn Wren
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